The Tragic Loss of Precious Life: Reflecting on Victim-Blaming and Misogyny in Response to Femicide

Uduak Asuquo
2 min readOct 28, 2023

The recent murder of a young female university student by her boyfriend has sparked intense controversy and debate. While such senseless violence is always painful, what is equally disturbing is the response by some — namely the victim-blaming, misogynistic attitudes that seek to somehow rationalize or justify this femicide.

When the news broke of this tragedy, many Nigerian men applauded the murderer and blamed the victim herself, claiming she deserved it for being “after the guy for money.” They imparted unsolicited advice and moral lessons, conveying an underlying message that women who don’t adhere to their standards somehow “have it coming.”

This perspective is not only deeply problematic, but dehumanizing. A precious life was cruelly ended. This young woman was someone’s daughter, granddaughter, sister, niece, cousin, friend — she belonged to a community now shattered by immeasurable grief. Yet some men felt entitled to spite her memory further with ignorant, insensitive commentary.

What these misguided individuals fail to realize is that in making such statements, they normalize violence against women. The notion that murdering your partner is somehow justified depending on your perception of her behavior is frightening and untenable.

While femicide has long plagued society, its prevalence today remains chilling. But rather than reflect on how we can better protect and empower women, some default to the easier path of victim-blaming. Of looking for excuses. Of refusing to hold perpetrators fully accountable.

This must change. We cannot allow misogyny and lack of empathy to further endanger women and girls. Victim-blaming Mentalities only enable further violence. As a society, we must do better — to honor the value of women’s lives, condemn femicide without caveats, and build a more just world for all.

The loss of this young woman deserves grief, outrage, and deep reflection on how to prevent such tragedies. It does not deserve cruelty, judgment, or rationalization. May her spirit find justice and her memory serve as inspiration for positive change.

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Uduak Asuquo

Freelance Creative Writer. Avid Reader. Closet Introvert. I want to tell stories that ruin your day in a good way.